Comedians take painful stabs at health care bill

Health care is a big deal -- even to comedians.

After the House of Representatives narrowly passed a resolution (219-212 Sunday) supported by President Barack Obama, health care reform took the important first step of being implemented into the lives of Americans.

The new law, signed by Obama on Tuesday, will be "a sweeping overhaul of the nation's health care system," according to the New York Times.

Obama then signed into law "a sweeping overhaul of the nation's health care system" on Tuesday.

What health care means to the future of America

Yet celebrity comedians and late-night show hosts are remedying their cures on what they want in their health-care packages.

Here are some views on health care comedians are prescribing to their audiences. Information compiled by Daniel Kurtzman of About.com

"If conservatives get to call universal healthcare 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.'" --Bill Maher

"President Obama is turning up the pressure on Congress to pass this health care reform. In fact, he's telling Democrats, if they don't vote for this bill, he will go out and campaign for them in November." -Jay Leno

"It looks like Democrats have their 60 votes for healthcare. Harry Reid said the bill will save us hundreds of millions of dollars. Well, it would have, except for the hundreds of millions of dollars we had to pay to buy the 60 votes." –Jay Leno

"President Obama says that Congress is very close to getting a new health care plan, but due to compromises, it 'won't include everything that everybody wants.' For instance, it covers everything except trips to the doctor or the hospital." –Conan O'Brien

"Well, here's some news. President Obama's healthcare plan passed the Senate Finance Committee this afternoon. Republicans are disappointed because they had their own version of the health plan. That was going to be swine flu masks and Purell." --David Letterman

Got a good joke on health care? Let's hear it!